2007-06-26T23:21:00.000-07:00

Weather Man:

Dear Friend Unknown,

Hope you are doing fine, constantly challenged and nourished by the perils of life. As for me, just the same old, questions...questions..unanswered feelings! To start with, I was watching this nicolas cage movie on some channel the other day. Just a week before, I watched Lord of war, another nicolas cage movie...liked it! It was the narrative kind... You know, I think I like Nicholas cage's voice. I mean its not magestic like Jack Nicholson or Morgan freeman's, but has a distinctive note to it, may be comparable to Tom Hanks. I don't think I will be able to listen to nicholas cage narrate about penguins...but rather his voice is very casual and reckless, kinda keeps me with his story.

Anyway, rewinding to weather man..one of the "not so" boring movies, still... watched it till the end! It's a very normal story with pale negative characters all in all. You think something interesting is gonna happen, but nothing happens. Nicolas Cage, a divorcee, I mean "happy" divorcee... no big regrets, that kind...having his own life. All of a sudden, his father comes up with this blahblah disease and he is counting his days. So, Nicholas cage decides to step up to the plate and tries to pull his family together to get his father's approval. As I said before, nothing happens( or something happened and probably I dozed off). Finally, father dies and cage finds self realization.

But, something that cage said at the end caught my attention..... "I remember once imagining what my life would be like, what I'd be like. I pictured having all these qualities, strong positive qualities that people could pick up on from across the room. But as time passed, few ever became any qualities that I actually had. And all the possibilities I faced and the sorts of people I could be, all of them got reduced every year to fewer and fewer. Until finally they got reduced to one, to who I am. And that's who I am, the weather man"...(courtesy:www.imdb.com)

Friend unknown, when I heard this, sort of, felt a tickle in my brain. I mean I have done this all the time. I have strived so hard all along to be that positive.."radiant" personality myself. It's like sometime yes, I was that positive personality and felt good about it, other times have failed miserably, fallen flat on my face and had been so embarassed... believe me, did want to see the sun rise ever again.

Anyway, I started thinking about this ..., I mean just as cage says"sorts of people I could be", we meet somebody, we like them and we try to be like them. May be not in every aspect..just the positive ones..the attractive ones, that attracted us. I paused to think, how long had it been this way for me? To tell you the truth, That's how it had been all along, as far back as I could remember. Now, I have come so far, I don't even remember anymore what my bare self: "myself" is. Did one like that ever existed?! Friend unknown, my question here is, do you think it is not fair to acquire, "qualities" from someone? Does that destroy your"self" or makes you a better person? I mean, Isn't that what society is all about, to influence and to be influenced.

The most intriguing part of the dialogue anyway is, "they got reduced to one, to who I am. And that's who I am," What a statement to make! Iam wondering, at what point in life can I just stop and say like Mr. Cage, this is who Iam...I don't want to change anymore? I don't think I could ever in my life say, this is me! just like that, define myself and leave it at that point. Iam certain that, there would be atleast an iota of myself left that needs to be amended, On a personal note, I don't think personality("qualities") is something to be defined, its not a solution to seek answer, it is something to be experimented with to explore just the mere possibilities. To put together, I presume, it as a natural phenomenon....ever transforming phenomenon based on constant self evaluation and realization...until death do us apart.

These are my thoughts on one strange night! What do you say?

P.S: May be...may be, I will watch the movie again!

Love,
Your friend unknown

2007-05-19T01:08:00.000-07:00

Dear friend unknown,

Today I had taken my daughter for a playdate at a friends place. When I was coming back I was thinking about this strange feeling in my heart. I wasn't sure what it is or rather I'm sure what it is but I'm not sure how to react to this feeling.

Meanwhile I realize, I haven't told you about my two year old daughter so far, she
is smart and very sweet. Wow! you should listen to her talking about cindrella and pooh bear. Pretty amazing what that little brain can do! She knows her alphabets both uppercase and lowercase, she is trying to learn their phonetic sounds, she could count brilliantly, sing a song so sweet that I taught her couple of months ago and knows and points on the globe atleast about 50-55 countries all around the world. More than all she can identify all the 43 american presidents way back when she was about 18 months or so.

I guess I don't have to tell you how proud I am. Everytime she comes up with a right answer, my face gleams in glory, I wonder, why? Iam just thinking, why does a parent feel happy & proud at his/her child's excellence, intelligence or wisdom? Do you think it is as plain and simple as Iam just being a "proud parent" or may be because Iam looking at it as a constant reassurance that my baby is smart so am I! Which theory would you support?

If you didn't agree with above ones try this one: May be it is a general ideology that A smart kid means a JOB Well Done! I mean as a mother/father I have done a good job bringing her up! Is that why I want my daughter to be smart. How do you think I should feel If she is not smart? Should I have to feel, we parents aren't smart... so is she or blame ourselves that, we didn't spend "quality time" and failed to tend her to be smart!

My dear friend unknown, you know I keep thinking about this a lot, I tell myself most often I can, I shouldn't evaluate her or try to judge her. But no matter what I know, I know...I have a secret wish or may be a earnest longing somewhere in my heart, for my daughter to be smart and exceptional! I think this is the creepy feeling I want to tell you about.. How do you think I should react?

Lovingly,
your friend unknown

yes-it-happens